Communicating your needs clearly to your partner is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, it will save you a lot of disappointments and heartaches.
Man are from Mars and women are from Venus, it’s true and I’ll tell you the story. Each one was travelling in an opposite direction “Assuming” that they were the only being in the universe, lost in their thought, their ship crashed and they both crash-landed on the hearth, head first, and it all began. The point is, that we are not from the same planet and we are not on the same communication frequency, therefore by “assuming”, something is always lost in translation. This leads to “What a frog?” moments.
Communication is key in any situation and also to succeed in any walk of life. Having clear communication between partners is important because it ensures that the message you are trying to convey gets across to them with no glitch. Now if you the kind of person that shouts your words when leaving the house and expects the other to get it, you are probably dissatisfied most of the time and blame it on the other person for not paying attention.
Maybe it’s just me, but I truly can’t understand a word when people are shouting. My brain will shout down, the words will not go through my ears, instead, they will float past in my line of vision all jumbled up. If you come and ask me if I understood, the answer is…
“Sorry, I haven’t a clue, I don’t read gibberish” Because I literally will see the letters flying past instead of hearing them. But that may just be me. However, regardless of the person, having a direct calm demeanour when communicating is important. It makes the message clear and easy to understand.
For example, things normally go south when you are expecting something from your partner but fail to be clear about it, instead, you decide to throw little hints and clues about what is that you want and fail to be direct, For whatever reason.
Get them a small notebook and write down every single date of all the special occasions you want him to remember. Get him in the habit of reading it every day of every week depending on the closeness of the dates. It’s not a question that they don’t care, women are more into things like that and have a better memory of those dates than men, it’s a fact we have to accept. We are from a different planet, the language barrier is something we have to come to terms with and find a way, a perfect way to convey our message.
Let’s take a look at this scenario that goes wrong because you assume that they will know exactly what is that you are talking about with your hints and clues.
It’s your birthday soon… You and your partner are walking past an accessories store, you notice a beautiful designer handbag that stops you in your tracks, you went “Wow, darling! Isn’t this bag just amazing!” He takes a brief look and agrees with you. You carry on walking.
You’re at home, and you are having dinner, you “casually” talk about that walk and that beautiful handbag. I can assure you that, at that point, he probably doesn’t even remember what colour that handbag was, let alone at which shop it was displayed.
You’re talking to your friend on the phone, your partner walks in the room, and you “loudly” tell your friend about the amazing handbag you saw and can’t get out of your mind. A couple of days go by and your birthday is getting near. Your partner orders a handbag for you online.
It’s your birthday and he hands you the beautifully wrapped box, you’re very excited, you open it and your jaw drops, your face is full of dread and your heart is sick of disappointment. Why? He got you a handbag. Not the Designer one you wanted but one from an online store that probably source from China. (No disrespect here).
At this point, you’re frogging pissed off and you accuse him of never giving you a satisfactory present. Hold on a sec… he got a handbag, not “The One” you wanted but who’s fault is that?
This is what you should have done… Snap a picture of the handbag in a close-up, step away and take a picture of the store including the banner, written address including postcode and a google map of the location exactly, and send all to your partner, followed by: Darling or whatever you call him, “This is what I want for my birthday”. He will thank you for the help because probably he had no idea of what to get you and, you will get exactly what you want. Win-win situation.
However… if with all that and he gets you something other than what you’ve directly asked him to, with my support, you have the right to feed him dry bread and water for the entire week. And they will know to NOT even try to get anywhere near the sweet business, the mother forger should be banned until your better judgment.
Good communication is essential in all aspects of life. If you would like to learn more ways to communicate effectively, check this article, Top 10 Communication Styles And How They Affect Efficiency
My darlings, men are not into window shopping like women, their shopping style is direct. Well, for the majority anyway… They will go in, get what they want and get out because when they’re out shopping is with a purpose, they know what they want and they go out and get it, no drama.
By the one and only,
Graciete
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