We all live in a world filled with fast-paced lifestyles and ever-evolving dining trends, so that good table manners might seem like a forgotten art. However, they remain essential to our social interactions, reflecting our respect for others and our appreciation of the culinary experience. Whether you’re dining with friends or colleagues or at a formal event, impeccable table manners can leave a lasting impression. In this little guide, we’ll delve deep into the world of good table manners, offering a comprehensive understanding of the dos and don’ts that can elevate your dining etiquette.

The foundation: Napkin etiquette

Our journey into good table manners begins with something seemingly simple but often misunderstood – the napkin. When seated, follow these guidelines:

Unfold discreetly: Upon sitting down, gently unfold your napkin and place it on your lap, keeping it out of sight.

Blot, don’t wipe: Use your napkin to blot your mouth as needed during the meal. Avoid wiping or scrubbing your face with it.

The end of the meal: When finished, loosely fold your napkin and place it to the left of your plate. Refrain from refolding it neatly; this signals that you’re done.

Seating arrangement and posture

How you sit at the table sets the tone for your dining experience. Pay attention to the following aspects:

Wait for the host: If you’re dining in a formal setting, wait for the host to signal when you should sit down.

Sit up straight: Maintain an upright posture throughout the meal. Slouching is a definite no-no.

Elbows off the table: Keep your elbows off the table, especially when not actively eating. Resting your wrists on the edge of the table is acceptable.

The art of utensils

A table is often adorned with various utensils, and knowing how to use them correctly can be a game-changer. The basic rule is to work your way from the outermost utensils inward, progressing as the meal does:

Forks: Use the fork to pick up food and bring it to your mouth. Hold it with the tines facing upward.

Knives: Knives are generally used for cutting and spreading. Hold the knife in your right hand and the fork in your left when cutting food.

Spoons: Spoons are for soups and other liquid-based dishes. Use them with your right hand.

Chopsticks: If you’re enjoying Asian cuisine, mastering the art of chopsticks is essential. Practice beforehand to avoid fumbling during the meal.

Proper use of cutlery

Cutlery plays a key role in maintaining good table manners. Here are some key points to remember:

Cutting food: Use your knife to cut small portions, one at a time. Avoid cutting your entire meal at once.

Switching hands: After cutting, switch your fork to your right hand to bring the food to your mouth. The knife remains in your left hand.

Positioning cutlery: When not actively using your cutlery, place them diagonally on your plate, with the tips of the fork and knife facing upwards.

Bread and butter etiquette

Bread and butter are often present at the table, especially in formal dining situations. Here’s how to handle them gracefully:

Butter spread: Use a butter knife to take a small amount of butter from the communal dish and place it on your bread plate. Never double-dip your knife into the communal butter.

Bread breaking: Tear or cut your bread into bite-sized pieces and butter them individually rather than spreading butter directly on the whole piece.

Dining with finesse

As you dig into your delicious meal, keep these tips in mind to maintain your elegance:

Sip, don’t slurp: Sip delicately rather than slurping when enjoying soup or beverages.

Quiet chewing: Chew your food with your mouth closed and avoid making noise.

Taste before seasoning: Taste your food before adding salt or pepper. It’s polite to give the chef’s flavours a chance first.

Handling difficult foods

Certain foods can be tricky to navigate with grace. Here’s how to handle some common culinary challenges:

Spaghetti: Twirl a small portion of spaghetti around your fork, using your spoon to help if needed. Avoid cutting spaghetti into smaller pieces.

Artichokes: Use your teeth to scrape off the edible parts of the leaves. Dip them in sauce if available.

Asparagus: Use your fingers to pick up asparagus spears and eat them from the bottom up.

Crab and lobster: Use specialized utensils or your fingers to extract the meat from shells.

Wine and beverage etiquette

If wine or other beverages are part of your meal, here’s how to navigate them gracefully:

Wine pouring: If you’re the one pouring wine, fill the glass only halfway to allow room for swirling and aroma release. Always pour for others before yourself.

Hold wine glasses by the stem: This prevents your hand’s temperature from affecting the wine’s temperature and allows you to admire the colour.

Toasting: Raise your glass for a toast, but don’t clink it too forcefully. Maintain eye contact and offer a brief, sincere toast.

Handling unwanted food

Encounters can occur with unwanted food, such as bones or inedible parts. Here’s what to do:

Bone removal: If you encounter a bone in your mouth, discreetly remove it with your fork or fingers and place it on the edge of your plate.

Discreetly spit out: If you need to remove something inedible from your mouth, do so discreetly into your napkin. Never make a show of it.

Conversational etiquette

Good table manners extend beyond your plate to the way you interact with others:

Engage in conversation: Participate in table conversation but avoid speaking with your mouth full.

Listen attentively: Give your full attention to the person speaking. Nod or offer verbal cues to show you’re engaged.

Cell phones: Keep your phone out of sight and on silent mode during the meal. Only take calls or check messages if it’s an absolute necessity.

The final touch

As you approach the end of your meal, it’s time to consider the finishing touches:

Excusing yourself: If you need to leave the table during the meal, excuse yourself politely. Say, “Excuse me,” or “I’ll be right back.”

Thank your host: Express your gratitude to your host or the waitstaff for the meal, either verbally or with a small gesture.

Offer to help: If you’re dining in a more casual setting, offer to help clear the table or with any post-meal tasks.

Paying the bill

When it’s time to settle the bill, follow these guidelines:

Discuss beforehand: If dining with friends, discussing how the bill will be split before it arrives is courteous.

Gratuity: In many countries, a gratuity or tip is customary. Check local customs or guidelines, and leave a tip accordingly.

Conclusion

Mastering good table manners is not just about following a rigid set of rules; it’s about creating an enjoyable and respectful dining experience for yourself and those around you. The art of dining etiquette goes beyond mere protocol; it reflects your consideration, respect, and appreciation for the people you share a meal with. By incorporating these tips into your dining routine, you’ll leave a positive impression and enhance your overall dining experience. So, whether you’re at an elegant restaurant, a cosy dinner party, or a casual brunch, remember that impeccable table manners are always in style. 

Photo: Canva Pro

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