In today’s society, it’s not uncommon to feel like you need to be someone you’re not. You may want to be more successful, more attractive, or more popular. But if you neglect who you are and what makes you unique, then your self-esteem will suffer.
The word Self-Respect is clear, one has to have respect for the self to get it from others. In this article, I am going to share with you five tips on how to raise your self-respect for it to grow and become something meaningful and lasting.
- Take a look at yourself and think about what makes you unique. For self-esteem to be present, it must be your own and not borrowed from others. It’s important that you think about what makes you unique when you’re young and then continue to do so as you grow older. Think about what makes you different and why that is important, like whether or not you are a morning person or an introvert. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something as big as your career path, but it can be something minor like how you prefer facial hair! It may be the way you express yourself, your fashion sense, your unique ability or talent, and your “peculiar” way of life, it does not matter as long as you are true to yourself. Embrace it and let no one tell you differently. However, this part comes with a warning, if this “Unique” is something good that doesn’t affect anyone, it’s ok, but if you take it as “Hey, I’m a bank robber and I should embrace it!” Wrong!! Your S will be thrown in jail and no one will feel sorry for you.
- Take care of your body by eating healthy and getting enough sleep and rest. With the hectic life we live, it’s easier said than done but making effort is a good start. This body we’re in is the only one we will have to the end of our life, treat it well and with respect and the benefits are endless. You’re an adult therefore you are the one who feeds yourself, so whatever enters your mouth, it’s by your hand. We all have moments when the stomach is saying enough and the brain is saying more please, but it’s up to you to choose which one to listen to. If you lack self-control and keep on dunking, then don’t complain later about your love handles or high cholesterol. (Just saying)
- Recognise that your past experiences “may” shape who you are and what you’re capable or incapable of doing now and in the future. We are all proud and happy about our “amazing” past experiences, those things that made us feel great and lifted us, we carry those memories with high regard and mention them every time we have a chance. But… we, also tend to neglect our “not so amazing” past experiences. At least at the surface because in my own experience, ignoring them doesn’t make them go away, on the contrary, it hibernates in your sub-conscience waiting for you to recognise them and deal with them. Until you do, it may affect who you are today, the decisions you make, and the way you perceive yourself and others. Same as the effect of a good experience in your life.
- Don’t let anyone else define who you are, by not forgetting to love and accept yourself as you are. It’s important to accept yourself with the good, the bad and the scary. For some people, sometimes the perception of self is deceiving, you may see yourself lower than you are (Low Self-esteem) or higher than your true self, (High Ego). But this is a subject for another article. My point here is, to be your true self and don’t change to please anyone else. Showing the world your true self can only make you happy and free from society’s shackles. We all want to feel good, smell great, and look amazing, it’s only fair, but as long as you are doing it for yourself.
- Spending time with those who truly care about you is a good thing because those people will feel comfortable enough to ground you and you will also feel comfortable enough to be your true self around them. It’s a good feeling when you don’t have to impress others for the sake of being accepted, liked or included, it’s freeing. So make sure to spend quality time with those people to increase your happiness and sense of self-respect.
However, 3 things hinder your self-respect greatly
Lack of Self-worth, Addiction and Lower Self-Steam. The problem with these 3 things is that if you’re vulnerable, they are easy to get into and hard to get out of. But, it’s worth trying to get yourself out of it because they can steal your self-respect. And self-respect is an important thing to have in life because it impacts your mood, relationships, work and more. It’s important to know what things can kill your self-respect so that you can stop them before they take over your life completely.
Lack Of Self-Worth – The most important thing you must remember is that your self-worth is not determined by what you do, or what you have, your self-worth is determined by how you feel about yourself. If you put yourself in an environment where people want to make you feel small, unworthy or not good enough, the best thing is to remove yourself completely from the company of those people. Give yourself the respect that you deserve by remembering who you are. Stand your ground by not allowing them to get away with it. But it’s up to you to make that decision. Sometimes you may think you’re in too deep to be able to remove yourself, but what you must remember is that no one that cares for you will treat you poorly, no one who cares about you will think they’re better than you, and no one who cares about you will take you to be less than they are. When you are faced with this kind of situation, take a step back and re-evaluate yourself by remembering who you are. Anytime that someone measures you in some form or fashion, it’s because they don’t have your best interest in mind. Everyone should be accepted by the person they are, not by the amount they have in their account. If someone truly wants and respects your relationship, be it romantic, family or platonic, they will accept you as you, not because they think you’re their “equal”, but because they respect and appreciate you.
Addiction – Alcohol, drugs, sex, food, gambling, you name it. Addiction can be anything that gets you hooked to the teeth and makes you see no way out. Because when you recognise that it’s unhealthy, you can save yourself from it. But in the meantime, while you’re “hooked” your behaviour can be dubious and deceitful, you become untrustworthy and unreliable. Everyone in your social circle will start to take your word with a laden of salt because they are worth nothing, people will lose respect for you because you become someone they no longer recognise, and you will lose the respect and love of those closest to you because by lying, cheating, manipulating, scheming to get your way will make them think YOU don’t care about them and it’s only natural for them to reflect that. Until you recognise that you have a problem, no one can save you and your lack of self-respect will only deepen. You will need to want to help yourself for those around you to offer their help and support. It’s never too late, you just need to accept it and ask for help.
Co-Dependency – There’s nothing worst than the feeling that you have to wait on someone else to get your gears moving. But all that depends on you. If you’re a so-called “Able” person, there’s no excuse to sit around waiting for handouts or for someone else to do things for you. I understand in some cases, which are exceptions, one feels like they have no choice but to submit to such a thing, but I believe that where there’s a will, there’s always a way. Being co-dependent will make you lose respect for your self and of course, others will follow.
The Benefits of Having High Self Respect
Having high self-respect is important for your mental health. It can help make you feel more confident and less anxious and it can also help you avoid negative thoughts and behaviours, like the three mentioned above.
High self-respect can be greatly achieved by changing your mindset about yourself. Some people might think that being hard on themselves will motivate them to do better but negative self-talk can only lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. Instead of being hard on yourself, try to focus on your strengths and what you are doing well instead of what you aren’t good at or what you’re not doing well enough. Remember that you’re great and it’s ok to make mistakes.
Raise your self-respect by believing in yourself! Having high self-respect can help you avoid negative thoughts and behaviours, it can lead to a feeling of happiness and contentment, and it can help you feel more positive about yourself which helps you to have better mental health, an optimistic outlook on life, feelings of well-being, and a sense of belonging because everyone wants to be where they are loved and respected.
By the one and only,
Graciete
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