I understand that many people didn’t have someone like Titia to guide them and they lived a painful life under an abusive parent or guardian, but that is what makes them even more courageous. For me, they are heroes of survival!

I had everything that I needed and still find an escape to neglect some aspects of my life because it was easy to shift the blame. But for those of you that grew up in less fortunate circumstances, you should be proud of yourselves! You are a survivor therefore nothing or no one can stop you!

Think about it, you endured terrible things while you were a child growing up, but for you to be here today and able to read this article means everything! You are more than you give yourself credit for. You have passed tougher lessons and dealt with meaner people and still sprang back up! Can’t you see? This means that no one can keep you down! You are a bad S and no one can measure up. Own it!

Like any other war, be it military, civil, family or personal, there’s always a wound be it visible or invisible, letting it heal is up to you and you only. You can choose to live in that victim mentality, or you can choose to recognise the hero in you.

Take a look around and reevaluate your life, give yourself credit where it’s due instead of harbouring bad blood that keeps you stuck.

I said no one can keep you down and that’s true, no one, but yourself!

You are the only one with the power over yourself, you have the rains of your destiny you just need to realise it and embrace it.

I can tell you, I did and it felt good! I embraced the hero in me and I felt like superwoman. I don’t go around flying, I haven’t got the cloak. Yet! But I am way much healthier, much happier and free. It’s an experience I urge those living in this victim mentality to try.

I’m sure those of you that go to therapy sessions and have psychology for advice, I bet they told you that it’s all up to you, right? Well, you should pay attention because it’s true, freeing yourself is up to you.

Let me give you a clear graphic on harbouring bad feelings, is like restraining yourself with a barbed wire, eating rotten food that makes you sick, drinking contaminated water that gives you a bad stomach, slapping your face with a … I forgot what I wanted to say but I’m sure you get my drift. Free yourself! You’re an adult now and responsible for the outcomes of your life, nobody else is to blame anymore!

When you were a child you could blame it on your parents or guardians, if you miss school you could say you were not given transport money or wasn’t fed breakfast, therefore, you felt weak, or that you miss your friend’s birthday party because your responsible adult couldn’t be bothered, you missed the school trip because they decided to use the money for something else other than advancing your education, I give you that. But what about now? You are now a fully mature person, what is your excuse?

My advice is, to use your pain as fuel to propel you forward. Right your story, do something to keep you busy and get your mind out of that painful hamster wheel because it’s on your hands to facilitate your healing, only you can unfold your fingers and let that barbed wire go. Pity your own heart, it’s time to let go, manifest a new reality and go for it full speed.

I am not a medical professional of any kind but I’m sure your psychologist will agree with some stuff here.

So my bits of advice are:

Push yourself from zero to a hero mindset and see the difference

Focus on your personal and financial development

Focus on what makes you happy

Take up a hobby

etc… just get stuck in something that fulfils you rather than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. I’ve been there and done that, and wished I have gotten myself out of it sooner because the feeling of freedom after letting go is amazing.

But you know what, it’s never too late, a new beginning is always great.

I am here offering my full support if you just want to chat because I can’t do that job for you, but hoping that you will sit down and find the truth within so that you can free yourself, it is the only way you will live a happy and fulfilled life.

By the one and only,

Graciete