You can decide to look into the problems you’re facing or that you have faced in two ways, as your fault or someone else fault. Or, you can look at it as a lesson you can learn from.

Disappointment of any kind and especially in a relationship can be very hard, in fact, it can be tremendously painful that you can think you will never get rid of the pain. But the way is to trust in yourself and allow the pain to wear off with ease.

But because you are human, is understandable that most of the time is your ego, your sense of superiority, the embellished image of self-worth, and the proud hero pedestal that you stuck yourself in that bring about your downfall.

You may be in this reality where you feel so high and mighty that by the time you realise that what you thought you wanted is no longer what you actually need and want, is too late because by then your castle of cards is tumbling down. Your fantasy is gone and your reality is also gone.

Then you feel broken, defeated, small and powerless, and the rage kicks in.

It’s easy to blame others instead of facing the harsh truth, your faults become invisible to you, it’s not your fault, you’re the victim.

You project your frustration on others and refuse to see the wrongs, the pain you’ve caused, and the unnecessary drama by playing the offended when things don’t go your way.

Then the bitterness takes a wrong turn, you resort to slander and the blame game to project yourself in a better light before others instead of owning your part in the fallout and making amends or trying to reach a peaceful resolution.

You became the martyr and the poor unjustified that deserves to have what you want regardless because somehow you feel entitled to it.

And the big reveal happens because when you handle rejection with hanger and frustration it will turn you into the beast you’ve been trying to hide all along.

Sometimes things reach an ending that is not at all satisfactory to us because the heart wants what it wants and the hope is that it will get it. Yes, it can be possible where there’s a balanced relationship, where the feelings and emotions are equal, where the love is genuine and not faked for the fear of being alone, filling a hole in your heart, a punching bag for your frustrated ideas or replacing the irreplaceable. To be happy, one must face their true feelings by admitting them before is too late.

We’re only humans, sometimes we are stuck in our imaginations and illusions that we fail to see the reality melting away before us.

We lose the sense of what is important because we are so fixated on what we think we want that we end up losing what matters the most to us and then obviously like they say, one only values things when they lose them.

The thing is when you lose someone important in your life, that person’s trust can be regained as long as you recognise your errors and make amends by asking for forgiveness and being genuine and humble about it.

By recognising that you were not giving your best to the relationship, that you took it for granted and were treating it condescendingly because you felt that you could that’s why it blew in your face.

Recognising and accepting that you were wrong shows that you value them and shows your true feelings for them. Then, and only then they may choose to forgive you. And remember, they have to choose to forgive you. You cannot force it or expect it.

But when your apologies are full of pride, false and stated for the sake of making a point or showing that you can and will regain that trust, it will take you nowhere.

Choosing the right way to heal your broken heart is freeing yourself from that pain by; Accepting that things didn’t work because they weren’t meant to and taking the lessons you’ve to learn from that connection and moving on.

Accept that you may have some fault in the situation and mend your ways.

Use those lessons when you’re stepping onto a new connection so that you can avoid the same mistakes that lead to the downfall of past relationships.

Accepting things for what they are instead of shifting the blame is a powerful way of letting go of bad feelings that can only harm you further.

Choosing the slanderous way can be powerful if you chose to shift blame because it gives you a sense of power, it showcases you as the poor victim, and you can gather support among those friends who are oblivious to the real truth.

You can feel good by making false accusations that you know won’t be checked or verified by those who trust in “your truth”.

It can give you an amazing sense of victory over the other person among your friends but forget not, you will play the real truth in your head when there’s no crowd to impress.

Alone time is a powerful thing if you chose to listen to your thoughts with a clear and open mind instead of rehearsing the false reality created by you to justify yourself.

But regardless of the truth, you have decided to stick with, you will “know” the real truth.

One may choose to ignore their mistakes and keep on repeating them but, learning from them is a great way to improve your sense of self, and move forward in life.

However, accepting mistakes must come within, it must be genuine for it to help you improve because saying it for the sake of getting out of the tough situation defeats the purpose. But, is up to you.

By the one and only,

Graciete

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