It doesn’t matter what you do, say or create, someone somewhere will always have something to say, be it positive or negative. There’s always someone out there that will think that you could or should have done it differently. And probably you should or could have, however, what you must bear in mind is that at the moment of execution, it was “your” decision, not theirs, the vision was “yours”, not theirs.
You can be as synchronised as you may with the Universe, there’s always someone that will fall out of synchronicity, therefore, not your problem if they cannot get your point.
As human beings, contradictions are embedded in us from The Big Bang or Garden Of Eden, whatever you prefer. The main thing here is that we are an infinite pool of contradictions.
And this is no surprise because it’s an art we master within ourselves from the get-go.
I ask you this question; How many times you have contradicted yourself? How many times you have second-guessed yourself? How many times you have regretted your choices? How many times have you stood there thinking… “Hmm, I’m not really sure”? Many, many times. Humans are just full of contradictions. And if we criticise ourselves, why not critique others?
I am not against criticism as long as it’s positive and can open your vision and propels you forward. I am very receptive to positive feedback because I think it can provide a useful and different perspective. “As long as they’re relevant”.
What I can’t stomach are those who are full of criticism but have no corrective input. They are all about pointing fingers at other people’s mistakes, spitting hatred without realising that they are embarrassing themselves by showing the world the ugly inside.
For those who hang on everyone’s criticism of them and take it to heart, stop being silly and pitting yourself, it’s not about you, it’s about them!
Competition brings fear, emptiness brings bitterness, jealousy brings ugly, my darling, it’s not about you I can assure you that, it’s about them.
When people are dark within, dazzled by their self-importance and oblivious to the reality at large the challenge is tremendous. Those people need to feed their festered hearts with hatred therefore they go around looking for the yummies. (Hate) Those people are sharp enough to find needles in the haystack but not sharp enough to see the beauty of the world that is in their faces. It’s not about you, it’s about them! That’s all you need to remember to take yourself out of that victim state.
I know some people are very sensitive and vulnerable so, instead of confronting those haters, it’s easier to take themselves out of the equation by quitting their social media accounts, crying alone or worst, consuming it all quietly. No, please don’t, all you need to remember is that it’s not about you, it’s them.
However, by allowing yourself to be a passive victim you are feeding their behaviour, by not confronting them you are giving them victory. I am not telling anyone to go on a Rambo/Schwarzenegger rampage, no, I’m against violence of any kind, but I am not against anyone standing up for themselves against bullies, you are entitled to do so, but, do it with class.
The hard part is to not let the hanger do the thinking and writing, you must be calm so that your message makes sense, what you don’t want is to toss fuel to the fire. The idea is to be a bigger person and educate the bully.
First – When someone sends you a horrible message of any kind that deeply hurts your feelings, do not respond immediately, log yourself off of your electronics and go for a walk. (Work wonders for me) And when you’re back don’t go back to it, just ignore it for that day and sleep on it. (Or toss and turn all night), but resist going back to it!
Second – Next day, read it again calmly, open a notebook and take notes of it and close it again. Open a page on your laptop or phone and write your reply to the message paragraph by paragraph. “Please do not do it directly on the replay section of the message” The reason is once you hit the send button, it may be difficult to take it back.
Third – Read your reply twice or three times, with intervals, let us say, 12h. From what I learned, letting time pass allows me to process and reprocess my decision so that when I finally hit that send button, I would not regret a word. It’s a good practice. Plus, it allows you editing chance, things you want to add or delete, the aim is to be sure of what we are sending and stand by it.
Even if you have decided to take yourself off of social media, speak your mind first. But remember to always do it with composure so that one or two people may learn some good manners.
By the one and only,
Graciete
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