Emotional intimacy is a closeness that goes beyond the ordinary fondness felt for friends and family. The degree of emotional intimacy is an excellent barometer for evaluating the health of a relationship. It’s difficult to have a good relationship with poor emotional intimacy or a poor relationship with a high degree of emotional intimacy.
9 ways to grow your emotional intimacy and strengthen your bonds of love
1. Do things together
We maintain intimate relationships with those with whom we share good or challenging times, whether it be surviving a horrible boss or training for a marathon, sharing home chores or spending time training together at the gym. Sweat and suffer together or jump with joy together, and your bond will grow stronger.
2. Let go of your past
Most of the obstacles to being more intimately connected are rooted in the past. Learn from the past and be done with it. Everyone has been hurt at some point and it’s ok to look back only to make note of what you don’t want to repeat. But making it some sort of measuring scale in your relationship is not acceptable and you’re just looking for a valid reason to spoil it. Let it go.
Saying thank you can go a long way. It’s always good to feel appreciated and encouraged, so it’s important to be kind, appreciative and loving. List something you appreciated that day. it could be something small like folding your washing the dishes or stopping by the store for milk. During dinner, share what you each appreciate about each other and never forget to say those three magic words, I Love You. Feeling it is one thing, saying it brings it to light and it’s always appreciated. Once you both get into the habit of appreciating things you’ll be amazed by what happens. You’ll spend the day looking for things to appreciate about your partner and vice-versa.
4. Touch each other daily
Sex counts, but focus on other types of touch, too. Kissing can be the sexiest and most intimate affection in a relationship. It calms you down and relaxes you for more to come. Give each other a massage or snuggle together on the couch. There’s nothing cuter than a late-night cuddle. Hold hands when you’re out and about, it forges closeness and a sense of belonging.
5. Be a positive experience for your spouse
It’s said that we are more sensitive to negative experiences than we are to positive ones and that the ratio of achieving positive after a negative is just about Five to One. Meaning that it takes five positive experiences to negate the impact of one negative experience. So, be on your best behaviour. We are only humans and we make mistakes but it’s a good practice to learn what behaviours will hurt our relationship and try to avoid them. However, the negative experience might be an exterior, in this case, the advice is to try to deliver at least 10 positive experiences for each negative experience so your bond is ever-growing because of the support you give each other.
6. Be a better listener
We adore those people in our lives who take the time to listen intently to what we have to say. It can be a serious issue or just a light gossip, we still want someone to listen to it. You might not care a great deal about the story they’re telling you about their latest purchase, the rivalry in their workplace or her latest mail order, but it’s important to lend your ears now and then to those who rely upon you listening to their story because, in this world, you get at least as much as you give when you’re a good listener. Look your partner in the eye when they’re speaking to you. Turn off the TV.
Put your phone away to avoid interruptions and listen to them with intent.
7. Explore something new together
Take a class or a hike in a new location. Read the same book and share your thoughts. Attend a concert together. Take a trip to someplace new or someplace you have both been before but create new memories that will last a lifetime. Be creative and share a new experience be it cooking, doing yoga, or knitting, it’s all up to you. Be creative!
8. Be the best possible version of yourself
By being at your best, you’ll have more to give and they will be proud of you. Have a few goals and spend time each day striving to achieve them. There’s nothing more boring than having nothing to do! It’s good and healthy to have some goals in life. Even when you’re retired, try and keep yourself busy with some hobby to keep your day more interesting. Take care of yourself physically, spiritually, and emotionally because a healthy mind makes a healthy body and a healthier relationship.
9. Show an interest in your partner’s life
This goes beyond being a good listener. Be supportive and caring and ask your partner about their day. If they just got home from work, meeting or seeing friends, ask them how it went and show a genuine interest. But pay attention, Do Not… turn it into an inquisition/interrogation, no one wants to be made to feel like a suspect in a local police department. This is not about prying is about loving and caring communication.
It’s easy to be emotionally intimate at the beginning of a meaningful relationship when we’re in love because being around them and listening to what they have to say makes us feel all happy and intense because the other person is just so perfect and interesting. However, Emotional intimacy can become challenging after a few years in a relationship. Therefore it must be encouraged to grow or it will die. Make emotional intimacy a priority in your relationship and keep that light going, it can only make things better.
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